The Science Behind Suppressing and Expressing Emotions: What Happens Inside Us

We’ve all been there—when the weight of our emotions feels too heavy, when the chaos of life seems too much to bear. In these moments, many of us push our feelings aside, telling ourselves that if we ignore them, they’ll fade into the background. Yet, as many have discovered, the paradox of human emotion is that what we resist often persists, growing stronger in the shadows of our avoidance.

But why does this happen? And how does expressing our emotions liberate us from this quiet turmoil? Beneath these experiences lie intricate neurochemical processes that shape how we respond to emotional tension. Understanding this connection can offer us not only insight into our biological nature but also a deeper understanding of what it means to truly live authentically.

1. The Beginning: Suppression

Consider the moment when we feel overwhelmed—whether by anger, sadness, fear, or frustration. Rather than facing these emotions, we might tell ourselves, "I don’t have time for this," or "It’s not a big deal." But our brain knows better. The amygdala, the emotional core of the brain, recognizes the disturbance and sends out an alarm. Yet, instead of acknowledging this call, we suppress it.

The body, however, does not forget. The brain activates the HPA axis, flooding our system with cortisol—the stress hormone. This is the body’s way of preparing for danger, even if the "danger" is an unspoken feeling. We remain physically and mentally tense, on edge, as if standing on the precipice of an unseen cliff. The heart races, adrenaline surges, and we carry the weight of these unexpressed emotions, believing that silence equates to control. But what is suppressed only sinks deeper into the subconscious, where it simmers.

2. The Weight of Avoidance

The more we avoid, the heavier the burden becomes. Suppressed emotions don’t simply disappear; they linger, manifesting in our body and mind like uninvited guests overstaying their welcome. Our sympathetic nervous system—the part of us responsible for the "fight or flight" response—remains activated. We find ourselves in a constant state of low-grade tension, carrying the emotional weight like an invisible backpack.

In this state, the prefrontal cortex—the rational part of our brain—becomes less active. Our ability to think clearly, make decisions, or approach situations with calm reason is diminished. We may not always recognize the source of our irritation, fatigue, or sadness, but deep down, the unexpressed emotions continue to shape how we see the world, and how we react to it. Life feels more fragile, and the delicate balance between composure and collapse is precariously maintained.

3. The Breaking Point

At some point, every suppressed emotion finds its way to the surface. It may happen through something trivial—a spilled drink, an offhand comment from a loved one, or a bad day at work. In these moments, the dam breaks. The amygdala, already strained by the cumulative suppression of emotions, flares up, and everything we’ve been holding inside comes rushing out.

The body, no longer able to maintain the pretence of calm, reacts. The heart pounds, muscles tense, and the familiar tightness in the chest returns. It’s as if the body is urging us to finally confront what we’ve been avoiding, to look inward and acknowledge what we’ve refused to feel.

4. The Turning Point: Expressing

It’s here, in this raw moment, that we face a choice: continue suppressing, or allow the emotions to be expressed. It could happen in many ways—through the comforting release of tears, a conversation with a trusted friend, or writing down our thoughts. What matters is the act of expression, the willingness to finally let the emotions breathe.

As this happens, the brain responds. The amygdala begins to quiet, and the parasympathetic nervous system takes over, ushering in calm. As a result of this shift, oxytocin, often called the "bonding hormone," is released, fostering a sense of safety and connection, even if we are alone. The body no longer perceives a threat, and the stress response fades.

This moment is not just one of emotional release; it’s a profound experience of alignment between body and mind. The fragmented pieces of ourselves—the parts that have been in conflict—are brought together, integrated through the simple act of expression.

5. The Release

As we continue to express our emotions, our brain engages the prefrontal cortex once again, allowing for clearer thinking and rational reflection. The tangled web of feelings begins to make sense. What was once overwhelming now seems manageable, not because the circumstances have changed, but because the emotions that clouded our perception have been processed.

In these moments, the brain rewards us with a gentle surge of dopamine, the neurotransmitter of pleasure and reward. This is the brain’s way of reinforcing the healing power of emotional expression. It’s a signal that we are on the right path—a reminder that acknowledging our emotions, rather than avoiding them, is key to finding peace.

6. The Aftermath: Healing

Once emotions are expressed, there’s a noticeable shift. The body and mind feel lighter, as if a long-carried burden has been lifted. The HPA axis calms, and cortisol levels drop. We may still face challenges in our external lives, but internally, there is a newfound clarity. The emotional storm has passed, and in its wake is the quiet certainty that we can face what comes next.

Philosophically, this process of moving from suppression to expression mirrors the ebb and flow of life itself. Just as we cannot hold back the tides, we cannot indefinitely suppress the tides of our emotions. They are meant to move, to be felt, and ultimately, to be released. By doing so, we align ourselves with the natural rhythm of life, where balance is restored through acceptance and expression.

The Wisdom of Emotion

Suppressing emotions may seem like a defense against discomfort, but it often leads to a deeper state of unease. Like a river that is blocked, emotions will find a way to break through, often more powerfully than before. On the other hand, expressing emotions allows the mind and body to come back into balance, opening the door to healing and clarity.

In essence, the wisdom of emotion lies in its expression. It is not a sign of weakness, but rather a testament to the strength it takes to face the truth of what we feel. By embracing this process, we not only experience relief but gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and the world around us.